Body image, media & sexuality

Young people are naturally interested in their and others’ bodies and development. In New Zealand, young people are flooded with relationship and body image messages from TV shows, music videos, DVDs, pre-teen and teen magazines.

Parents need to ask how messages about ideal body shapes and styles of dress may affect children’s self-esteem. Does popular music and media content encourage an earlier sexual awareness for both boys and girls? What pressures do these images place on young people?

It is a challenge to allow children to enjoy their childhood without undue pressure to conform. Young people are exposed to intensive marketing, and are aware of brands and their association with image.

There are strong messages about the expected behaviours of girls and boys. Children who do not fit these stereotypes can feel especially isolated.

Parents can counter these messages and images, and give some balance to the flood of information children receive by talking with their children about how realistic the images are.

Online and Phone Safety

There are a number of actions parents can take to minimise risks when their children are using their phones or on the internet.

Have the home computer in a family space such as a living area rather than in bedrooms or home offices.
Set times and sites for computer use.
Talk with children about images or sites they may have seen that were concerning to them.
Explain to older children your concerns about certain sites or images and discuss the differences between pornography, fantasy and real life relationships.
Be aware that any equipment with wireless access (including cellphones and iPods) may expose young people to pornography, or possibly exploitation.

There is some excellent online information and support available for both young people and parents. See www.netsafe.org.nz for specialist information.

Talking to young people about media

Help your young person identify the different kinds of pressure they face everyday from TV, magazines, billboards, music, movies, video games and more.

Discuss the consequences of accepting or not accepting media messages (for example, being a bone-thin female, being a muscular male, buying designer clothes).

Teach your child the two-step refusal process:

Step 1 - Check out the message.

Step 2 - Apply the self-esteem rule:
Does it make you feel bad about yourself? If the answer is yes, act quickly to avoid being influenced. Do one of the following:

Change the channel or station, turn the page, stop playing the game.
Turn off the TV, song, game or radio, or throw away the magazine or newspaper and leave the place where the message is being presented.
Talk back to the message with a positive counter-message.
Make a joke about the message.

Ask your young person to describe a good friend or family member. What characteristics do they have? Now, describe a good doctor, lawyer or teacher. What are they like? As they imagine these model people, what part (if any) does body weight or percent body fat play in determining their quality or effectiveness? Probably not much.

Pornography

Exposure to pornography is also an issue that parents need to consider - even for younger aged children. While children generally do not have a natural sexual capacity until between the ages of ten and twelve, they are susceptible to influences affecting their development.

Schools deliver sexuality education in age and developmentally appropriate increments. Exposure to pornography can short circuit this and may leave children feeling confused.

Pornography has underlying messages that can be extremely damaging. Some of these are:

sex without responsibility is acceptable and desirable
sex is about fulfilling male desires and is not mutually pleasurable
women are sexual objects and not people
presenting unrealistic body types and outside the norm body parts.

All of these can put pressure on young people growing up, distorting reality and expectations of relationships and sex.

Most parents want to instill in their children their own personal values about relationships, sex, intimacy, love, and marriage. Exposure to pornography can impact on attitudes and values, and sexual behaviour.